you're stronger than you think you are!!

Monday, January 12, 2009

got my results today,
not what i half expected,
sad,
tried consoling myself within,
mother made it worse by passing a remark,
"she'll never be able to get a B for her Maths",
pissed me off right on the spot,
went running at 5pm,
wanted to cry,
nothing came out,
came home,
cried.

I'm really dissappointed in you.
You're my mother,
So how could you say that?
it really saddened me.
I half expected you to give me a few words of encouragement,
but up till now,
nothing.
absolutely nothing from you,
my mother.
all you did was
run
me
down.
the saddest thing is,
you're my MOTHER.
I thought mothers were supposed to stand by their kids when they were feeling down?
so,
where the fuck are you now?
you're becoming like papa.
dont make me say, (please dont.)
i hate you.
i dont want to.
honest.

This made me realize how weak i am.
This made me realize how much i needed words of encouragement.
This made me realize how insecure i am of myself.
This made me realize how much i needed to build my self confidence.
I am going to change,
for the better.
Criticism, is a form of motivation for improvement.
I finally realized.

Sente gote dochira to te koma susumerya banji OK!
(Whether you go first or last, if you advance then everything’s OK!)

i ask myself.
did my maths actually improve?
i tell myself.
yes. i have moved from a stage of always failing, to finally being able to pass this subject stage.
my next goal.
a B3 at least.
for both E&Amaths. =D
whereas for my Mother Tongue,
Mdm Qin,
i swear i'll not let you down this time!
AN A1 WOULD BE WHAT YOU'll SEE NOW.
:)
BRING ON THE 2 WEEKS MT CAMP MAN YOHZ!<3

last conclusion,
Life is really pretty unpredictable.
(GRATS TO ALL THE HOSEHS WHO DID WELL TODAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
especially marcus! :) cleared both subjects with A1s.
p.s: ( eye contact with shihui ) & ( *curses ) LOL!
&
(if you didnt do well, DONT STRESS HOSEHS! WE HAVE ANOTHER CHANCE THIS YEAR!
WORK HARD! I WANT ALL OF YOU TO AT LEAST GET A 11 POINTS FOR Os YEH!)
it doesnt matter if you've failed this time. im pretty upset too.
but,
we are really really really lucky to have another chance.
we MUST ALL treasure it. :)
like what the principal said on stage just now,

you cannot control what life throws at you,
but you can decide how to deal with it!