|
Sunday, October 30, 2011
I don't know why I can't move on. I don't know why it's still bothering me. Maybe because deep down, I knew it was wrong, From the beginning. This guilt.. When will it stop following me. I don't like this. I was scared. Very afraid. |
|
|
i have no mood for anything except softball trainings. jialaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat. and this feeling is exemplified during the weekends. (cheh exemplified. got such word? o.o) so ya. NO MOOD SIA KNN. MOOD, WHERE U GO? WHERE U HIDING? ~_~ |
|
|
Saturday, October 29, 2011
Perseverance in something you know you clearly dislike? Well that would be just plain dumbness. Being stubborn in something you know you want, Now that's intelligence. @alyahdinah: "then.. I'll follow you wherever you go!" :3 LOL. She's the only friend who understands what I say. Heehee. I wanna go to Aussie for my uni studies. This is confirmed. I will. I want to. |
|
|
Friday, October 28, 2011
It's gonna be a fun day tml. Enqi is going to have so much fun you can't even imagine how happy she'll be. SCS, here we come! ^^ |
|
|
Thursday, October 27, 2011
This is lame. You're boring. Bleh. I'm talking like Alyah. Lolol |
|
|
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
Don't care about what others think of you. What they think about you is none of your business. Say what you wanna say, Do what you wanna do. I dare you to be yourself. |
|
|
Tuesday, October 25, 2011
24/10/2010 i know your method helps la. but. why do i have to do things your way, if they way i do it, achieves what u want too? just wondering. only doing 20% of what im capable of. am i doing it the same way in my life as well? alot of thoughts going on in my mind. |
|
|
Sunday, October 23, 2011
People are scared of theatre because we don't candy coat things, and this makes us powerful. Well said. |
|
|
Sometimes I hate you till I wanna die, Sometimes I find u so cute till I wanna keep u in my pocket forever and ever. 恋の意味は。。 それかな。 ~(・・？）） |
|
|
Saturday, October 22, 2011
Onions, pickles, mushrooms, udon, salmon, cashew nuts, apples, plain yoghurt, yellow, running, swimming, massu's, Japanese, baking, sunflowers, backpacking, cafe/bakery, balloons, sun, weather determines mood, uniquely weird, happy, believe~ = me. Did I miss out anything? |
|
|
i remember when i was a child, when my mom promised to bring me to the pool the next day, but it rained, i would stay by the window and pray, hoping that the rain would go away. for now, when it rains and i wanna go to the pool, i just wait for the rain to stop. if it didnt, i'll just decide to do something else. im just not that determined anymore. strange. maybe because i've grown up. |
|
|
Friday, October 21, 2011
i have times when i wonder if im worthy of everything. times when i doubt my own abilities. times when i feel ugly. times when i just dont feel happy to be myself, at all. times when i feel so fat. times when i hate the me i see in the mirror. times when i just.. wanna be anything but me. am i worthy enough to be your friend? am i worthy enough? |
|
|
Wednesday, October 19, 2011
An introvert. But a trained extrovert. Cool.. |
|
|
木曜日です〜 It's the first time I know what I wanna do in a module. Enqi. That's the way. Keep it up!!! Don't stop!!!!!!!! Listening to- Share ^^ I will make sure today ends nicely. Mr Joshua, no you are not gonna spoil it. ㅋㅋ |
|
|
今の気分はたぶんいいよ！ |
|
|
enqi says: :\ maybe im not so good in acting.. Macy says: maybe, but youre defintely good at smth as long as you dont stop! enqi says: : ))) okay.. Macy says: : ) smile qiqi ^^ enqi says: LOL i smiled when i saw that LOL i could "hear" u say it LOL!!!! i feel better. & what cheryl said.. pick something you're good at. or you wanna be good at now. and be good at it. the first thing that came to my mind.... surprisingly was my Japanese. |
|
|
Don't be afraid to express yourself. |
|
|
Tuesday, October 18, 2011
 how can a kid be so fucking unappreciative?karma's gonna hit him hard i swear. I SWEAR. times like that, i doubt myself. i ask myself, do i really wanna continue doing this? wouldnt it be easier just jumping into some random F&B job? at least you wont get stressed out that much on the mental aspect. HE WILL FUCKING DRIVE ME CRAZY SOMEDAY. fuck fuck fuck FUCK YOU. so basically, this was my terrible Tuesday. as always. oh how i love Tuesdays. and our ACSM lecturer...... she looks like Edna from the Incredibles. so cute. LOL! but. cher, seriously, cannot drink water during class? lol. thats fucking lame im so sorry but i had to say that. plain water also cannot?! piang eh. crazy la sial kau. |
|
|
Monday, October 17, 2011
Why did I choose this course? What do I want out of this course? I think I will make a drastic change when the time to choose a university comes. I can see myself doing that. Lol! Die. But.. What I learnt in dadp isn't wasted ah.. It was an experience for me too. |
|
|
massu's says: just nao damn paiseh cause alyah dinah throwing high ball to me, her high ball machiam not high ball kay, then behind us got soccer people i hao xin went take the ball for them cuz roll towards me then i think i too long nv hold a ball almost the same size as one like a netball, i take, the pose sui sui alr, want throw back, the ball drop from behind =_= NIVLA says: HAHAHHAHA massu's says: FKING MALU CB i laugh sia, then still apologize to them the guy laugh also and say, its okay LOL! FARK MY LIFE i felt so demoralized after that =_= interesting thing that happened on the first day of school. wasnt really v hyped up during training. 1. coach not here. 2. tired...? 3. dreading school tomorrow. lol! 明日は学校が行きたくないですよ。 :\ dreading tuesdays. no enqi.. no.. ure supposed to push your GPA back on track.. |
|
|
you shouldnt have done that. you sure you wanna take up psychology? im doubting you. :\ that was very insensitive of you. im regretting not taking aging psy. =\ yes enqi. regret. just keep regretting. |
|
|
Sunday, October 16, 2011
NIVLA says: im like another one of ur family member.. cos we see the ENTIRE you not the fun and loving side of u we see the paraniod, the jealous, the over-reacting, the crazy, the stupid, the happy, the loving, the bitchy , the horny everything and how isnt wldnt it be possible that 2 characters of ours happen to clash and problems come out... like my past, and ur past.. but despite all that we still love each other... thats what relationships are all abt.. a couple without quarrels... it wld seem a little too fake wldnt it.. |
|
|
我会放手给你自由绝不强求。 For you, 我还能熬多久? |
|
 alyah dinah: yea *smirks we did ittakahisa en: HEHE this is the finisher medal! what a picture. Xp 1:15:00. nicely.  HI KAKKAK. <: D HEEHEEH. i didnt know what came over me. very brave today the enqi. normally i die also wont ask for help from a police officer. even the event organizer. woah. liked the me today. i wanna see the same you that wont give up no matter how gloom the situation may seem. remember this enqi. dont give up. what if we just went and cut through to the lane that was beside us. what made us follow the 21kmeters? i dont know. i guess we just wanted to finish it. we did it. :] 10km. im sure we ran more than that =_= LOL. eh alyah dinah. you realized.. we started out ourselves, and finished ourselves too. : D heh. we did it! OURSELVES. we had each other throughout. kimi ga daisuki dayooooooooooon~ saranghae~ |
|
|
Don't be so naive. Do you really think that wouldn't happen? I wouldn't want to bet my everything. Be prepared. Anything can come. This is life anyway. It'll be tough. What started has to end. I'll be strong enough to face the end.. Myself. :) |
|
|
I didn't trust you then, I Still can't afford to trust now. No. Not that easily. Enqi learn to protect yourself. You don't need anyone to protect you. Remember this. |
|
|
The fact that you're always near reminds me of the fact that I should never trust too much. Thank you. |
|
|
Saturday, October 15, 2011
& how would I know if you meant it? guess I never will. ._. |
|
|
Thursday, October 13, 2011
Massu's magical date plan. M: Of course, she will be picked up via horse-drawn pumpkin carriage (lol). I’ll send a message the previous day saying “I can’t pick you up, but a carriage will come so ride in that”. Because of all the trouble, I’ll be really happy if she comes all dressed up. Then, she’ll ride in the carriage, arrive at the destination then suddenly, the horse starts to transform. The magic wears off…truth is the horse was me (lol). The destination is the Tegomasu live concert, and I’ll even direct you to your seat. I apologise for leaving you alone, but please enjoy the live to its fullest. At the end, I’ll start to change…”Thank you everyone!” as I get down from the stage and turn back into a horse again (lol). Then, the me as a horse will be pulling the carriage with you to dinner. Dinner is horse sashimi (lol)? Just kidding, I think it’ll be Italian food. We’ll take our time talking while we’re eating. I’m not sure if you’ve noticed by now, but truth is there is a problem with this plan, up until dinner, we’ve pretty much not been able to speak to each other (lol)!! When I was a horse we didn’t talk, during the live we didn’t talk. Still it was a magical date, so it’s okay if it felt special (lol)? http://hoshi-shizuku.livejournal.com/22543.html さすが増田君ね。。 |
|
|
When You’re Alone thefrenemy: I want you to sit by yourself in your room. This is the moment you are wallowing, this is the moment you want to listen to sappy music and curl yourself up in a ball and feel all lonely. There are moments when you feel self-pitying, there are moments when you wonder how you are so young and so pissed off at everything. People piss you off. People cuddling on subways piss you off more. Instead of listening to music on your I-Pod and thinking about the time somebody kissed your forehead, I want you to look at the things you have collected over the years. There are the terrible pictures you have taken of yourself in college- the one where you were at a bar with your best friends and you make the ‘holy shit what am I doing here’ face, or on the beach where you are laughing so hard because somebody just threw sand at your crotch. The necklace you got from your grandmother is here and so are the flip flops you’ve had since seventh grade because your mom bought them for you. I want you to pick up the postcards you got and your favorite book that is creased by the sides. You have read this book so much you can finish the lines by yourself and you probably love it. Then I want you to pick up your phone and look at your text messages. The one from your roommate that asks where you are, or maybe the drunk ones late at night from all the people you couldn’t be with at the moment. Oh, look! Your favorite high school bud who tells you they miss you! I want you to pick at least five people from your phone that you can call because you are feeling bad. Don’t call them, just know you can. I want you to look at yourself in the mirror. There is a scar on your chin from the time you did something really fucking stupid with some really fucking great people. There is the face that you have grown from a little shitting baby to the person you are now. I want you to make the lamest face you can in the mirror, I want you to remember all the things you like about yourself. I want you to laugh at it. I want you to stick your butt out at the mirror and smile. Then you put on a song that reminds you of summer, or of driving in a car. Then you put on the song that you remember listening to when somebody was in love with you. I want you to think of the best memories you have had, and simply appreciate how you have had them. How you have felt something so big for somebody it made you nauseous and when they left, the best people in the world listened to you when you cried about it. You would feel that again, you think. You just might, you think. Refuse love being the end-it-all of your life. It happens and it doesn’t, and it usually happens again (which is what is so great about it.) Then I want you to cough or scream or raise your arms and simply remember how you are not alone. How you are here and you are here and that is where you are. And then I want you to think of the worst moments, the ones that made you feel shell-like and how you got over them. How you have the ability to get over shit because you are a person and people go through bad things and you are still pretty okay. How you can still laugh and give high fives and go to bars and not get how people function the way they do. Then you realize how many more days you will feel alone. And how you sometimes crave figuring yourself out more than other things. And how many times going out or meeting certain people will make you feel like you don’t understand humans or how much you love them. Then you remember all your friends, and how much you will laugh at all the douchebags you have dated, and all the mistakes you have made, and how one of these things will always outweigh the others. I want you to allow yourself the biggest kind of optimism you can muster for the future moments of your tiny life. And I want you to sit by yourself and I want you to fucking enjoy it. Pick your nails. Eat a slab of cheese. Savor it. Then I want you to not feel so fucking alone. You are not. http://meandsam.tumblr.com/post/9965113298/an-alarm-clock-which-will-only-switch-off-if-you and this is fucking cute. an alarm clock that will only switch off after you've smiled at it. CUTE OR WHUTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT |
|
 went to meixi's house today!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ron's a better behaved boy now. ^^ but he still bites -..- me: dinah said i look like someone who's okay w one night stands mx: noo...... 6 years of being friends. やっぱりね！^_^ |
|
|
Wednesday, October 12, 2011
I think I wanna stay. : ] |
|
|
Tuesday, October 11, 2011
I fall in love over and over again with you.? Just a day of not meeting, but it feels like ages. Why is this so? Alvin tan, why ah? Xp Yes, you can smile retardedly to yourself~ |
|
|
Monday, October 10, 2011
Pencil: I'm sorry Eraser: For what? You didn't do anything wrong. Pencil: I'm sorry cos you get hurt bcos of me. Whenever I made a mistake, you're always there to erase it. But as you make my mistakes vanish, you lose a part of yourself. You get smaller and smaller each time. Eraser: That's true. But I don't really mind. You see, I was made to do this. I was made to help you whenever you do something wrong. Even though one day, I know I'll be gone and you'll replace me with a new one, I'm actually happy with my job. So please, stop worrying. I hate seeing you sad. :) |
|
|
Sunday, October 9, 2011
"it's just training" -..- |
|
|
IMMA SKIP REHEARSAL ON WED TO GO FOR TRAINING. YAAAAY Wad a way to end this week~~~~~~ And sayang's going skip her work!!!! -announces loud loud- HEHEHE May this week be a good one!!!! Enqi, keep smiling!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (⌒▽⌒) |
|
|
I jus don't feel like talking, Don't feel like saying so much. I'm just me. The same old me. How could you forget the songs the 6 of you sang together, on a journey that has been embarked on together as 6, for so long? How could you just leave them all behind? How could you? This is scary. Humans.. Im scared. You can never trust too much. You'll just get left behind.. They trusted you.. But you left. It sucks, To get left behind. How could you? |
|
|
Saturday, October 8, 2011
"faith is about doing. You are how you act, not just how you believe." Mitch albom- have a little faith. |
|
|
Don't force me to Do Things. I will fucking hate you for the rest of My life. |
|
|
Thursday, October 6, 2011
Erm.. Dude. I would prefer it if you keep your comments to yourself. Lol. Seriously. I make my own decisions. I won't be influenced by you anymore. I will do what I feel that's right. I choose my own path. I believe in what I feel is right. After all, it is my choice, my life. Stop nosing around. Period. |
|
|
I wish I could tie you up in my shoes Make you feel unpretty too I was told I was beautiful But what does that mean to you Look into the mirror who’s inside there The one with the long hair Same old me again today My outsides are cool My insides are blue Everytime I think I’m through It’s because of you I’ve tried different ways But it’s all the same At the end of the day I have myself to blame I’m just trippin’ You can buy your hair if it won’t grow You can fix your nose if he says so You can buy all the make-up that M.A.C. can make But if you can’t look inside you Find out who am I to Be in a position to make me feel so damn unpretty I feel pretty Oh so pretty I feel pretty and witty and bright Never insecure until I met you Now I’m being stupid I used to be so cute to me Just a little bit skinny Why do I look to all these things To keep you happy Maybe get rid of you And then I’ll get back to me (hey) My outsides look cool My insides are blue Everytime I think I’m through It’s because of you I’ve tried different ways But it’s all the same At the end of the day I have myself to blame Keep on trippin’ You can buy your hair if it won’t grow You can fix your nose if he says so You can buy all the make-up that M.A.C. can make But if you can’t look inside you Find out who am I to Be in a position to make me feel so damn unpretty I feel pretty Oh so pretty I feel pretty and witty and bright And I pity Any girl who isn't me tonight Oh oh oh oh oh (Tonight) Oh oh oh oh oh Oh oh oh oh oh (Tonight) Oh oh oh oh oh Oh oh oh oh oh (Tonight) Oh oh oh oh oh I feel pretty (You can buy your hair if it won’t grow) Oh so pretty (You can fix your nose if he says so) I feel pretty and witty and bright (You can buy all the make-up that M.A.C. can make) But if you can’t look inside you Find out who am I to Be in a position to make me feel so damn unpretty I feel pretty But unpretty the song im so into now. |
|
|
im becoming indifferent, devoid of emotions. |
|
|
You don't see it, you never will. I feel it. Sense of worthlessness. Sense of inferiority. Sense of uselessness. Low self esteem. Unpretty. Imperfect. Ugly. Nowhere near them. Never the best, nor the lousiest. In between. Never noticed, never shining. Not confident of myself. Trying to stay strong by encouraging others, making them happy, making them believe in themselves. But I don't believe in myself. Honestly I don't. I smile to make it seem like I do. When I don't, I smile like it's all cool and I'll try again till I succeed. I'm tired. When I got caught in the rain just now.. Honestly, I felt like crying. I don't know why. But I told myself not to. You still have to find a way out. Fake a smile. It makes your day better. Forget about smiling genuinely. Just fake it. Ugly, But no one will ask why. No one ever will. Just keep smiling. :) |
|
|
Nowhere near them. But why must I be near them? |
|
|
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
I'm so fking self centered, but that's me. Sometimes I just wanna say things like, Seriously, I don't give a fuck to what you're saying. But I hold these words in. Cause someday I'll want someone to listen to me too. But can't I just be like selfish? Lol. Just for a day, please? I'm not happy now. Nowhere near. I can't find myself. |
|
|
Remember, curiosity kills the cat. My dear, Don't you ever learn? Please don't forget that. Mind your own shitz. The judging will never stop, Live with it. Instinct is the accumulation of experience. |
|
|
Tuesday, October 4, 2011
Countries I wanna visit: 国へ行きたいんは: 1. Japan 2. Australia 3. Korea : D And of course hopefully travel the world~ |
|
|
me: "if i dont continue my applied drama.. like wasted.." dinah" then if you dont continue your psychology, not wasted meh?" me ".. oh. ya hor." LOL true. but.... how many applied drama practiitoners are there in SG? but...... even if i do continue my psychology, i can still do applied drama ah.. who knows, deshou~ |
|
|
Alot of coincidences in this world.. Same guy I saw on train, Same guy on bus home. Wonder if I'll see him again. |
|
|
Leon said I've become very insecure lately. I agree. I've become kinda obsessed w looks. Dx Okay. I guess.. Just know who you are, And you're cool aye. : ) Stupid fringe. It's just part of my whole head. It will grow!!!!!!!!!!!!! Not like it's above my eyebrows. *stares at alyah. LOL. Jyaa~ |
|
|
Monday, October 3, 2011
 HEHE. CREDITS TO ME.  me and jie ying prt sc the exact same frame. HAHAHAAH[c=46]JIE YING[/c] says: SEE THAT FLY-IN-AIR WAVING PART AT THE END? ^^ THEY MUST BE WAVING TO US *DELUSIONAL* enqi says: IKR HAHAAHAHAHAAHAHAHAA remember, that time we look up in the sky, and saw something flying past???? its them laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa [c=46]JIE YING[/c] says: THEY GOT THEIR HAIR BURNT JUST TO SEE US enqi says: OMG SWEET I LIKE HOW YOU SAID THAT (Y) TEGOMASU MAHOU NO MERODI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! >//////////////////////////////////< |
|
|
Sunday, October 2, 2011
他曾说的无所谓， 我想只是害怕清晰。 When you're holding on to a relationship only out of pity, It's high time you let go. The ring.. A promise for a lifetime.. What went wrong? 我们爱得没有错。。 只是美丽的独秀太折磨。。 最后的承诺， 还是没有带走了寂寞。。 この感情がちょっと難しい。 |
|
|
Saturday, October 1, 2011
I don't know how to express my feelings, I don't know how I really feel. I don't know who I am anymore.. |
|
 011011 first double date! <3 we now have an anklet each. :D customised colors! white- (but pow chose navy :<) pink- (i thought alyah's color was purple?! since when changed?!) red- jolene~ yellow- watashi desu. ^^ cute la today. confirm got more to come, pow dont worry! >=D im not gonna say sorry. as much as i want, sorry, imma leo. pride issues. i thought a couple should be helping each other, instead of pissing each other off? lol. i just dont get it. why should i endanger my heart just because of a relationship? lol. i dont want to die cause of an heart attack. fuck. why am i with him?! seriously. i dont get it. I DONT GET IT. |
|
