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Wednesday, July 27, 2011
NIVLA says: lol~ okay~ i was thinking... if u really go overseas study with dinah.. and we really can last till then... i guess i have no choice but to let u go.. i cant hold u back cos of me... then my heart ache.. LOL in response: was looking at ritsumeikan uni's related stuffs on their webbie. living costs tooooooooo high. nihon de~ sasuga da yo ne. then the thought of me & sayang in ANU came into my mind. aiyo.. dinah why that time we must talk about us getting into the same uni and staying tgt? see la now i so excited. LOL! somehow.. i can see myself studying in auzzie. singapore.. i really doubt i can do it.. sigh. i really dont know. so yea.. idk, maybe study in australia, get a degree, open a bakery&cafe, buy a house(since houses are supposedly cheaper than singapore, got more land wad) yea! wow. I GOT MY LIFE ALL PLANNED OUT. LOL! okok. back to reality. for now.. for now. >=] |
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I want to, But I'm afraid. I can live happily on my own. I can. I am independent. But why do I have urges to cry whenever I walk home at night? Is something bothering me? Am I not facing it? What happened to me living my feelings honestly. Buy me a cottage beside a big green field nao and I'll marry you. I'm serious. I want to spend spring baking in the cottage, and just lazing on the field with the evening sun shining down on me. Fresh home baked bread from the oven. Heavenly. Irresponsible jerks. Ha! Don't always expect someone to be there to clear your shit for you. They are humans as well. We are all equal. They are not your mothers. Even mothers are not obliged to clear your shit. You have arms and legs. What's so tough about throwing a bottle into the bin? You guys should go work in the fnb industry seriously. Stop taking these people for granted. It's a confused Wednesday. |
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Monday, July 25, 2011
when you're unsure if the person would stay, let go. |
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Friday, July 22, 2011
im procastinating. -.- well done enqi. wait somemore. wait la, wait till your assignments drop on you like atomic bomb and give you instant death. zz BUT IM STILL NOT STARTING ON THEM, I RATHER STARE AT MY LAPPY WITH NOTHING GOING THROUGH MY BIG FAT HEAD. zz im tired. |
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Thursday, July 21, 2011
tikalove said sometimes must give second chance. i alighted 3 stops before my stop just now. and walked home. just felt like it. dont ask me why never walk from jp. i forgot. ha! next time i walk from jp. so ya. i even made a detour. -.- didnt want to go home. i cried while walking. haha. so dramatic. (dinah like u sia. <3 we're made for each other. yes u can smile like a retard as u read this. =3) so ya. chance given, but how much trust remains? thats a question we will never dare to answer. (: and. somehow i think i'll wake with a bad fringe day tml. -.- zz. 12-3 got break tml. shall i come home? i shall come home to do my hair if it sucks tml. haha. who ask me kpo go cut. lol. drift over the ocean. alvin tan said i should change my url to asadyellowlion or something along this line. my url and posts so contradicting. lol. |
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Wednesday, July 20, 2011
think you'll still feel sad even when he's got a beautiful wife and lovely kids. it's definitely easier said than done. some things. |
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mum asked me, what would you do if he choses to go back to her? i smiled and said, then so be it. kan kai le. nothing much i can do anyway. but can i really walk the talk? i dont know. :) i really dont. after all, can you really say you know yourself well? |
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Tuesday, July 19, 2011
after last night, ive decided. shall not look at her blog ever again. why expose myself to that risk. why put myself at a possibility of getting affected? baobei is right. there's a reason to why she's in the past. make the best out of the present. my shirt v smelly!! |
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Monday, July 18, 2011
No matter how hard you try, You're not even progressing. No matter how much effort you put in, You're not even deserving a B. I don't see where this is going.. I tell myself it'll get better for my next try, But it doesn't. I believed. But.. I know it doesn't work that way. How much longer can I keep up with the happy and positive image that I have? Maybe I should start thinking negatively. I might feel better. I want to be good at something I really do. I'm getting tired.. It's a little tough to continue. |
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 happy 50th birthday.my dad was telling my granddad, its a cake my daughter bought for me. that sentence is enough to make me suffer a sleepless night. my mum.. tsk. her actions ah. nvm. basically i just tried my best to make the cake eating session a memorable one for him. after all, he is still my dad. therefore.. i gobbled up the remaining slices of cakes with him. while we bonded. it was.. nice. been awhile since i last looked at him in the eye. after all, you are still my dad. |
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you're a super creeper. why must you add me to know what kind of a person i am? just talk to me in real life. creeper creeper. dont do sneaky things. cause when the truth comes out, it reflects on how lousy your personality is. is it that hard to live your feelings honestly? stupid creeper. FUCK U LA. |
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Sunday, July 17, 2011
a not-so-happy yellow lion. a tired yellow lion. ._. |
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Saturday, July 16, 2011
 simple necessities. makeup isnt my necessity. will it become a necessity? あの日の約束。 ok sounds freaking lesbianic. LOL this was the first pretty shell that we found! love this picture alot.  we are all different, pretty in our own way.just like these shells. they are really pretty when you look at them up close! I really didnt know Singapore had such pretty seashells. they're kinda tiny thou. wonder if i'll ever find those big big kinds. but hey, maybe being small isnt that bad thou! at least ure special. special! ;] |
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i keep checking my phone. fuck its super annoying. i used to just ditch my phone in my bag without any concern. i should do that again. i will do it again. あの日のfreedom. |
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Friday, July 15, 2011
 my lunch for today. so........ ok. im gonna start my first tuition assignment! LOL. next week is another busy week! i like. LOL. i have to go read up on primary 2 english, maths and chinese! focus will be on chinese. from what ive managed to gather, student's from Philliphines, doesnt speak chinese at home. so he/she?! is what, chinese not? LOL |
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i dreamt that i was in a theme park. i had alot of fun. lotsa fun.. : < dinah let's go to escape theme park. i dont care if u get dizzy or what. HAHAHAHAHA ok. time to start my DICCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC KNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNS. |
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we'll always get through somehow... life is like that. we have to move on, else we'll only get left behind. an unforseen force will help pull me through. which is myself. you cant break down. you cant. hang in there. you know you're stronger than this. you know it. |
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Thursday, July 14, 2011
these random moments of loneliness, random moments of wanting to depend on someone, random moments of wanting to speand every single day together, must stop. i am still the en qi that i used to be in the past. the one who knew she only had herself to depend on. this must never change. i must be independent. lionheart. (: just be honest w your feelings. and this is what im feeling. |
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just a little bit more to a cut of air supply. just a little more. |
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Tuesday, July 12, 2011
but oh wells. as the saying goes~ go with the flow, and we'll get through. hi^5 aisyahseeley~! alright time to look look at manda's lesson plan. |
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still contemplating whther or not to splurge for shinee's concert. was thinking, if massu comes to singapore, 500$ i also willing to pay. LOL! but its onew.. i mean of course he's important also. but i think im willing to only go for their meet-n-greet sessions? duno lei. wait for mum to come home first then decide. meanwhile~ 1. IHP DUE FRIDAY 2. CRITIQUE OF AMANDA'S LESSON PLAN DUE FRIDAY. 3. DIC COMBINED REPORT DUE NEXT TUES. 4. QLRM PRESENTATION (EITHER MON/THURS DUNO SIA FK) 5. PROGRESS TO BE MADE FOR ED CA10 (uh oh. LOL! *winks to aisyah) 6. GEMS ASSIGNMENT. LOL! 27/07. velle's birthday. LOL! 7. IEP PRESENTATION DUE WHEN AH?!?!??!!?!?!??!?!?! 8. IHP INFORMAL PRESENTATION, NOT GRADED. ok....... anything else.............. OH FK. 9. DIC CA10. LOL! WAI SUDDENLY SO MANY CBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBB. |
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Monday, July 11, 2011
LOL fk. kena warning letter liao for EAD. but i thought i skipped more for DIC? LOL. fk la! confused. as usual, my screwed up life. HAHAHAHAHA. i remember zaylinn saying he got a warning letter for gems.. LOL! WTF IS THIS MAN. YEAR2 ROCKS. |
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i overslept again................ wai i keep oversleeping on tuesdays. year 1, 8am class i also keep skipping. now the earliest class is 9am, i still can oversleep. fuck. -.- |
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Friday, July 8, 2011
We dont see things as they are, we see things as we are. if you look deeper, there may be another meaning to it. is this why i always overthink simple things? -.- |
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Thursday, July 7, 2011
i jus realized my wednesday, july 06 post, mentions alot of the "if" word. i hate that word. but.. it can be a good or bad thing. |
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if i had a choice, i would never choose to grow up. guess im just not someone who wants to win and be the best. sorry.. if they saw what was coming, i'm sure they would never have agreed to sell the shop. regrets.. everyone has at least one. im sure. i always tell myself to not look back in my life and regret. but.. its tough. it really is. i dont want to be the best. i want to just be below the best. that kinda thing. not excellent, but special in my own way. |
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Wednesday, July 6, 2011
if you dont trust me, what for entrust me with that task? if you're going to give me that task, the best thing you can do is to be near and guide me along. without butting in. this is for my workplace. if you dont trust us, it's okay not putting us in to play. it clearly showed, how reluctant you were. if you want a strong team that wins, so be it. we're not perfect, but we're not sorry for it either. it's high time you realized that you were once like us.. please be a little more understanding. we're all just doing our best to get by.. we know it's tough for you too. this is for the game today. done. i almost broke down infront of dinah. i am really suppressing my emotions. i smile and laugh cause im pressing that overwhelming surge of emotions from getting the better of me. im tired. really tired. i just want to have fun and live life like a crazy person. i know i can do this. just.. im tired. :< |
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Saturday, July 2, 2011
she believed, never in herself. like ive oways said, its oways a matter of choice. bear that in mind! my choice, my choice, my choice! |
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it's never too healthy to trust too much. leave some space out for some doubt. ^^ healthy doubt i call this. we're all just doing our best to get by, remember. what artika said was right. i took away something so important from you. but you must understand that it takes two hands to clap. if you put the blame solely on me.. i really have nothing to say. :\ that one thing i'll do someday. i'll definitely do it. no matter what the response, i'll accept it. |
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 02/07/2011, today's Milian's first anniversary! :] cute. ^^ ah gan looks so clean. SO NOT YOU. XP! heheeh <33333  pretty ladies in the picture! heh pretty ladies as photographers. location: esplanade rooftop. dont stomp us please. LOL! oh wells but it tasted nice. the cake. heh. Xp I NEED TO LEARN HOW TO MAKING NICER ICING FK. lol. butter cake. it looks waaaay prettier in life. v golden brown. hehe #failedattempt2 Xp #failedattemptatsiftingicing pretty pretty morning sky. hellow world, it's great to be alive. C: |
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